“Today’s people struggle in a world without informing them that sex, marriage, and childbearing should be sequenced.” There should also be intimacy throughout all this sex, marriage, and childbearing.
What is intimacy, Wikipedia states “intimacy is an interpersonal
relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy? Although an intimate relationship is commonly
a sexual relationship, it may also be a non-sexual relationship involving
family friends, or acquaintances.”
Honestly, this subject was hard for me to discuss. I realized having a relationship with men I
had never experienced intimacy. My
experience of intimacy was fear of being alone and not being loved, which I
think most women experience. Women fear
that if they do not satisfy their partner’s needs, they will break up with them,
and they also have sex to avoid conflict with their partner. We are taught if we do not have a man in our lives,
we are nothing without one. I was
already insecure about my body and the love I was not receiving from my family,
but I was nothing without a man. I tried
to pay attention to what church taught me but most of my life was with the
outside world. Love was more important than God so that meant
sex.
We have agency over our bodies and have a right to say no if
we do not want to have sex with the opposite sex. The article “Raising the Bar on Intimate Relationships”
states we have an equal vice regarding bedroom activities and need to feel able
to genuinely choose to engage sexually or not.
Sometimes the less expressive partner needs to be able to speak first so
that both can be heard.
The book “Marriage and Family in America” (pg. 83) states, “some
people have sex simply for the sake of sex, but several experts have argued
that sex without intimacy, like the casual sex of the on-nightstand, is of
little or no value. At best casual sex fails
to fulfill our intimacy needs. At worst.
It leaves us feeling emptier and lonelier than we were before the experience. Instead of enhancing the quality of our
intimate lives.
I agree with this statement, I have felt empty inside not
knowing what I needed. Intimacy should
have been a part of my life. I did have
intimacy once in my life and was the greatest feeling in the world knowing that
someone loved me and wanted to protect me.
Intimacy does not have to come
from a partner it can come from family.
My Aunt was my non-sexual intimate partner. I never felt love like that before. Safety was there for me each day. The joy I felt knowing that she was waiting
for me to come home and greet me and tell me she loves me was overwhelming. Six
months after living with her, I was taken from her, and it broke my heart. When
I was with her it did enhance my life. I didn’t tell anyone how I felt but I know
that her intimate love was true.
Lauer and Lauer state “on the average, Americans have sexual
relations from two to four times a month.
More married people have better sex than do singles.” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland states, “Human
intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of
total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God.”
Single people may have more sex, but they are never satisfied. Sex is just like a drug, it’s like that first
high of heroin, it’s the best high, and then where is the next hit, so that
same high can come again, again, again but it doesn’t. The body takes more and more, but it gets to
be too much and now you are hooked.
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