Marriage

 Marriage is hard, I have waited for marriage most of my life but what I have learned I am glad I have not gotten to that point at this moment.  I used to think God was punishing me for the sins I did in the past and He made me wait until He knew I was sinless.  I have learned that God is not a mean God, and he loves his children, and he knows what is best for us.  Marriage was supposed to give me a person to love me unconditionally, without judgment or criticism. I wanted to be married so that I could feel I belonged to someone.  I was told eventually I would be married and live forever with this person in God’s kingdom.  Marriage has not come yet but it will.  God’s time is not our time.

When most people talk about getting married, they start talking about the wedding.  When I say most people, I say the woman.  Women are brought up believing that the most important part of marriage is their wedding.  By the time most young women are 12, they have already planned every detail of what that special day will be.   

The special day even has a checklist.  I found the “12 Months Ultimate Wedding Checklist.”  12 months who is going to pay for the wedding, set theme, guest list, appoint bridesmaids and groomsmen, etc. Nine months wedding cars, florist, etc.  Six months book entertainment, wedding night accommodation, three months buy wedding rings, food tasting, finalizing the menu, two months dress fitting, guestbook.  After four weeks of speeches finalize the seating plan. 

Marriage is secondary to the wedding; women are never prepared for the marriage.  We think that the men are going to be everything that we see on tv, prince charming.  He will take care of us and love us until we day we die, but he thinks we will take care of him as his mother took care of him.  We both have this illusion of what life will be when we must live with each other and learn how our lives will change.

Nowadays it seems easier to live together and get to know how each person lives.  Marriage is scary, living together is safe no commitment no responsibilities.  Living together you can escape. Sex is free.  Roommates can come and go as they please.  Living in this society is the marriage, there are laws in some states that are making it easy for people to live without marriage, they can still have the benefits but not the responsibility of that paper.

What should we do, marry, or live together?  Society says live, be safe and never have to commit.  Religion says marry and live together forever.  What do you choose?